My dad, stuck between fact and imagination

In the shadow of my own history, I searched for the outline of a man who, though related by blood, is like a stranger in my memories. My father, a name and a photograph, but little more. He is a puzzle with missing pieces, a life story that seems to have retreated into the silence of oblivion.

My biological father at 35

At the age of 3, I was fully aware that I was not the natural child of the parents I knew. I was told that my real father resided in Canada. And that he, as a born Dutchman, shared a distant family connection with my adoptive mother. The core of the story was always the same: he could not be there to care for us because my true mother had vanished, leaving behind a big void.

Between fact and imagination

Now so many years later, I am trying to see into who my father was. When I stare at the polaroid above, I see a handsome young man, who would fit right in these modern times in terms of appearance. He seems strong, confident and with a positive outlook. And maybe… a little adventurous and mischievous. He has an attractive appearance. Confirmed by my adoptive mother's stories: he had a lot of attention from women.

Antoon Jeurissen at 15.

His life in short facts 

• Birth. When Antoon Joseph Jeurissen was born on October 10, 1932, in Bemmel, Gelderland, Netherlands, his father, Antoon, was 37 and his mother, Elisabeth, was 26. He had 3 brothers and 2 sisters, of whom 1 sister and 1 brother died of asthma during the war.

• Emigration. On May 28, 1953, Tony at age 20 boards the Zuiderkruis boat. He leaves at the Holland Amerika Lijn from Rotterdam, heading to Calgary. On July 9, 1953, he was officially deregistered as a Dutch citizen. 

• Married to Thelma. In 1961 he married Thelma Ruth Clark and they had three children together. My oldest brother in 1961, the middle brother in 1962 en me on the last day of 1963. 

• Mother Thelma vanishes. In march 1963 my mother vanishes with unknown destination. We as children were put in my fathers care. 

  

  Hired care

  
  

• Hired care. In 1965 I find my father working in the forestry industry and on Odenbrook Island near Alaska. He is far away from home for months and has to hire care for the children.
  

• Child welfare. But then in august 1965 it turns out that we as children, are often left alone in the house for a week. Child welfare is called in. We are about to be placed out of home. And that means we will be placed in Residential Schools. NOT the best place to be. My father wants to prevent that.

• The telegram to his parents. December 14, 1965 he sends a telegram to his family in the Netherlands that his three children will arrive the next day. Read the telegram here.

• Detained by police. Februari 1966 I find my father Tony back in Huissen. His passport was taken by the police (at the request of his brothers) until all children had shelter. 

• Lisa moves. So may 9, 1966 Lisa Marie’s (that’s me) person card is removed from Huissen to Horst.

• My brothers move. And October 1966 the person cards from my brothers are removed from Huissen to Nijmegen.

• Tony back to Canada. November 2, 1966 my father Antoon Jeurissen sails back to Canada.

• Half brothers. After that I loose track, but a few years ago I found that I have two more half brothers. He had two sons in 1969 and 1970 with Shirley Ann Sampolio. They lived in Kamloops BC.

• His second wife Shirley Ann dies tragically. Shirley Ann tragically passed away on March 13, 1997 at the age of 45. She was found deceased on the East Trans Canada Highway. Probable cause of death was exposure.

• Death of my father. One year later, my father dies on May 11, 1998, in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada, at the age of 65.

• Buried without family. After contacting the funeral home, it became clear that my father was kept for 3 months because there was no family to claim him. He was eventually buried in an unnamed grave.

It’s all about being human

By following Antoon Joseph Jeurissen's life journey, we can learn a lot about what it's like to be human. His story is a good reminder of the complicated relationship between identity, resilience, and sacrifice when things go wrong and get tough.

As we reflect on the fragments of Antoon's life, we are encouraged to think about our own existence. How often do we find ourselves at the crossroads of our personal identities and manage to stay strong and resilient through the challenges of life? How often do we face existential challenges that make us rethink who we are and what we stand for?

In the story of Antoon's life, we see that people have a strong desire to protect and take care of their loved ones, even when things seem impossible. He shows how human agency can shape our destiny and transcend circumstance.

Don’t judge

Yet, within the complexities of familial bonds and personal choices, we also find a call for empathy and understanding. Anthony's life is a reminder that judgment should be replaced with compassion. Behind every life story is a tapestry of experiences, hopes, and dreams.

Don't judge, but rather, seek to understand. Empathy is the key to a more compassionate and connected world.